Who died and made you...

Recently I have been wondering, who sets the moral standards of society, and who sets the moral standards of the gay society? What is morality anyway? Depending on whom you ask, you will obviously get different responses.

One thing I learnt though is that I was woefully ignorant! It truly is bliss. All I (thought i) knew about morality is what was taught me in church. I really had never taken the time to research what the different views on the subject were. So I decided to google it and I went through a series of web sites and research papers. I actually did not know that secular authorities do have definitions of morality.

Social anthropologists, psychologists will define morality as matters relating to harm, and Justice. These are the foundations to which moral conduct is judged. A theses by Haidt & Graham also includes three more tenets, Loyalty, Authority and Chastity. But they all agree that moral judgement is based on intuition, i.e. gut feeling. And on those foundations do we all judge one thing as moral or not.

Whenever discussions on homosexuality arise, they will definitely revolve around issues of what people perceive as moral. There will be two camps. The liberals, who basically rely on the tenets of justice and harm (which tend to the needs of the individual) and therefore they have no problem with the rights of the gays since they harm no one and it is just to give them a fair chance. On the other hand, there are the conservatives (esp. fundamental Christian's) that also include the authority and chastity tenets with equal gravity. To them, an issue for instance like gay marriages will go against established institutions, which would be amoral/immoral. And gay sex would be amoral/immoral as it goes against principles of chastity!

Understanding the viewpoints of these groups will be important when it comes to the fight for inclusion for the gays. Presenting the homosexual lifestyle as acceptable to persons that have for all time hold fast some intuitive notions on sexuality and institutions will be an uphill task. Violent confrontation will definitely not yield to anything. The gay man has to come up with tactics that will bring down the barriers that have been set up to protect these viewpoints on sexuality and institutions.

What tactics are these you ask? Guess I'll have to keep on googling for now, unless you have any ideas :)

3 days and counting . . .

It has been 3 days since I deleted all the stash of premium quality porn from my laptop and replaced it with quality reading and brain exercise.

Three days! Withdrawal symptoms are the order of the day. I can still replay the images on my head of that last scene and i just wanna....

Do you believe in God? Well i do. I recently joined an Internet frequent flier club. And on checking my email, i received a message for a request to be a contact. As well there was a request to be an IT contributor to an on-line magazine. Coincidence? I don't think so! This will be a great opportunity for me to exercise my brain as I had hoped to do. I can spend all that time that i would have spent searching and downloading doing something meaningful not only for me but for loads of viewers. If you are determined to accomplish something, just believe in God, he will do the rest. It will be a challenge but i will put all my energy into it. Its a reason for me to get back to the genius side of life.

On the other hand, i also got another interesting email. I received a friend request from a stranger in Hi5 (one of those social networking sites!). My curiosity led me to click on the link and i was directed to the profile of this person. Very hot photo, 2000 plus friends. Cool. The introduction was very interesting about what they like to do at night and the signature is a website. Ok more curiosity - click i did. Porn Site!!!! Just when i was trying to run away from it all then it comes crawling back to me. Boomerang effect i guess. But the thing is i was not interested in that site. Why, its was some chick offering to undress for me. If it was a guy, my blog would have had a very different content! :)

And what I've learnt today is that where there is a will there is a way. Opportunities will always knock at your door if you are willing to achieve great things. Do not fear to loose what you love for the greater good, and I'm totally gay!

Yes, I did it

Today i have done the unthinkable!


I have collected all the porn on my laptop into one folder, and pressed shift+delete :( Oh my goodness 5GB of free space! what to do what to do! But i still have my stash of DVD's in some dark corner at my place, i'll deal with those on my return Even that one last emergency one i will get rid off! Well its something that i have been trying to do for the longest time evee. Having been hooked for such a long time, i'm already suffering withdrawal sympotms! Any Pornoholics Anonymous meetings out there?

This is a decision that i have made after i discovered that with each passing year, i'm becomming dumber and dumber! I'm not as sharp as i used to be! No one calls me a genious any more! An dfurthermore i just did some work interviews that i was not with it in all the simplest of questions. Though my good looks and smooth talk did put me in the top :) The thing is my quest for knowledge has been wanting in the last few years. Sure i learn a few new things here and ther, but all these i stumbled upon, i did not actively go and look out for it. They do say that the brain is a muscle that needs exersice, and if you don't use it, you gonna loose it.

Well it came to me tha i spend all the free time that i have watching my colletion of porn. Thats a whole lot of time. I'm an addict! Websites, dvd's, you name it, been there done that. And you know what else follows. I do not even have a book to read! Porn really is a dangerous form of entertainment. It can take control of your life like a hurricane and leave you totally destroyed, you and your surroundings. I googled 'effects of porn' and of course a myriad of websites all showing the ill effects excessive use of porn. Violent sexual behavious was pronounced in all of them. Well i do not think i will become a rapist cause of what i've been watching, but it has taken quite a sizebale amount of my time that cannot be regained and has put me at somewhat of a disadvantage.

So no more whining about porn, i just took action. DELETE. I will then replace all that time that i have left free (read 4 hours daily) reading a really good book, or blog, or website... and stick to real life eye candy, and maybe i will be on TV being honored for a bright idea!

Outercourse?

One of the things that i enjoy most is variety! Especially when i will go shopping for shoes. There had better be 30 different varieties to chose from! And the thing is as soon i make a pick, i will see a better loooking shoe in the next shelf. And worst of all is when i get to the house, i will wish that i had bought the pair that i left. Thats the thing about choises. As soon as you make one, you end up wishing you hadn't!

So today i've learnt a new word. Frotting! for the Swahili gay readers it is roughly translated 'Msuguano' :) This basicaly means having non-penetrative male to male sex. There are groups and communities out there that are actively advocating for this sexual encounter, and ever so passionately. I never imagined that it is actualy an art form. See this kind of sexual encounter is frowned upon in the nairobi gay community as being for people who are sexually washed out, without spunk. My curiosuty led me to loads of blogs and groups that discuss these issues.

Froting is a choice. With all the diseases out there, especially HIV, it is about time that we started thinking about sexual health! Frottin is chosing to attain sexual pleasure without penetration. Hence the term 'Outercourse'. It is a safe option for expressing one's randiness without thinking too much about diseases that can be transmitted during penetration.

This site will offer interesting reading on frotting www.heroichomosex.org. They speak passionately against anal penetrative sex, and provide facts and research that paint gruesome pictures anout anal sex (and loads of xxx pics :)

So whichever form of sexual pleasure you choose to engage in, ensure that you have all the facts strait (no pun intended!) and be safe!

I'm not gay, I just sleep with men

What is it with people and lables?

I just sat on my ray bans! I Love your Gucci bag! Prada, and nothing else! We have come to identify and value things with the lables that they have rather than the simple value that they add to our lives. So long as a bag will carry stuff for yor from point a to point b, then we should be satisfied, since adding a fabulous lable to it will not ease the the load! Catch my drift?

I confess i'm also a sucker for the hot lables in material things. And I also will also want to identify with the finer things in life. Sure, a lable does ensure the best quality in anything, and it better be cause the price tag will set you back a bundle! But should i necessarily go for the labled item without looking at a different brand, not well known, but quality as well? Or does the hot lable just automicaly mean an unknown brand is inferior?

Being labled gay can be offensive! It is derogatory to some extent. If some stranger calls me gay, homosexual, queer, fag, et all, it really gets to me. Because in some way that lable is set to make me look like i'm sufferring from something that should be exorcised out of me! With all these negative connotations , no wonder few would like to identify with it!

But hey, no lable ever developed in a day. I'm sure no one would wear valentino eons ago. Thats the thing, aint it? Maybe if more and more of us were brave enough to wear the GAY lable, we'd make it part of the in club.